We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
What a dumb baby whore.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So much rum. So many feels.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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