Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
