I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
