Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
