They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
