Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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