Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
