He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
