The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
