so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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