Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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