I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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