im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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