YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just had sex on a roof
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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