I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
