it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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