Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It's never too late to be topless.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
