Umm I'm too high to move.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize