Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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