Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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