just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Are my feet made of real feet?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
