I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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