I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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