I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
