from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We need to get me chipped asap
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
