Just cropdusted the office
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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