It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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