at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
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if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
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Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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