I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
