Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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