I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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