Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
