it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
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He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
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I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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