she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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