didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You can't just leave with hair like that
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
