sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
There r osticjed everywhere
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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