Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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