I'm pants shitting drunk right now
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
