Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
