We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
