i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
