I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
