apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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