There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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