I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
