you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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