I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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