State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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