So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
