I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
