Midget sex pt 2 tonight
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
