Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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