I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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