Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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