I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My vagina just recognized that song.
How's work?
Spinning.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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