moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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