she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
