Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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