jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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