Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
